so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Randomize
