I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Randomize
