Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
Let the clothes fall where they may.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
