This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
don't judge my taste in strippers
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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