Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
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