Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize