all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
Randomize