the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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