Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
