found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Randomize
