alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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