i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
Randomize