she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
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