LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
