Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize