I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Randomize
