A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
Brb crying the tears of my youth
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Randomize
