I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
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