when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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