i wish starbucks made bloody marys
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
