ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
