dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
