how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
We're too hungover to prance.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
