NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
