real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
Randomize
