White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
