there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
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