Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Randomize
