Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
it's great music for shaving your balls
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
Randomize
