Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
Randomize
