Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
Randomize
