Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
