Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
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