i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Randomize
