I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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