What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Randomize