Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
I woke up with a black eye and dim memories of announcing that i had super powers. I shoved my pockets full of canned tuna and tried to jump off the balcony. And then my boyfriend called the cops.
so you're not coming in to work today?
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
