Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
FUCK WHALES
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
