Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Randomize
