you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Randomize