I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
