we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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