Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Randomize
