Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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