So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
