My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
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