"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
she smelled like a LAN party
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
