dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
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