Porn is love you can see.
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
that's an acceptable place to lick
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Randomize
