She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
You ate ashes out of my bong
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
