Its about making memories worth repressing
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
Randomize