Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
Reggie can tackle my bush.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
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