My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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