We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
