he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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