question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
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