Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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