I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
Randomize
