p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
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