You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize