I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
Randomize
