Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
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