I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
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